Ship

Power Rangers Without Pity

Because We've Already Done Ninjas Twice.

Hiatus
Cam
kapvik
Les computer est mort. So obviously the further (remaining?) adventures of the Assy Pirates must be put on hold until further notice. Sigh. 

All Hail Prince Vekar
Heh
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In which the Rubber Suit Currently Known As Prince gets the ultimate tribute to his own narcissism, CyberDavros' and Cyber-Chunk's actual jobs in the New Power Generation are completely the opposite of what we thought they were, the secret to the Blue Rangarr's completely uncharacteristic mastery of swordsmanship is revealed, the ultimate form of a pirate ship mecha somehow requires a Cybertronian tyrannosaurus and a Formula-1 car in the shape of a googly-eyed chicken, and the Assy Pirates' numerous and varied demonstrations of egregious stupidity result in them getting pitched out of the crow's nest. Like, a lot.

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Dearly beloved...we are gathered here to get through this thing called the world"s first selfie of mass destruction. So dig if you will my most loyal and trusted soldier who I never actually treated any differently than all my other peons...Mister...CyberDavros.Collapse )

In The Driver's Seat
Heh
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In which an old Rubber Suit is recycled to provide the show with a dyslexic ambidextrous new villain, Terminators if left to themselves will build tokusatsu sets inspired by Tron, if you piss off Bioncé you're gonna get gat, farmers are smarter than people think they are even if they can't do a convincing accent to save their lives, the show demonstrates the next worst thing after punching reality, and the Assy Pirates attempt to hatch an already existing chicken by sitting on it and choking it with their giant fighting robot.

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Because as you may have already guessed, the Assy Pirates are NOT smarter than a farmer with an Accent Crisis.Collapse )

The Grass Is Always Greener...Or Bluer
Heh
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In which the show blatantly steals yet another thing from Season 1 and does it...well, arguably about the same level of crappy as the original, Victoria Justice is still trying to make herself re-happen, Foreshadowing knows better than to set foot in the Pornotorium, the New Angel Grove Board Of Education uses cadavers to teach children science because they work cheap, the advent of home 3D printing means that we get to see a Shameless Piece Of Merchandising go through every design stage from godawful to passable, Horny Boo Boo wisely becomes a terrorist-grade disappeared one in order to avoid this crapfest, and the New Power Generation actually presents a legitimate threat to the world at large before the power of the New Saban Era shits all over it and brings it down to their deep sea trench-level standards. Le Sigh.

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Has anyone else realized that there is no down side to switching out Stalker Ball"s mind for someone else"s? Because that basically fixes everything wrong with Stalker Ball.Collapse )

United As One
Heh
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In which the New Power Generation has no grasp of modern medicine or happiness (though the latter is more than likely the writers' fault rather than the NPG), the Assy Pirates are spoiled brats who are fucking lucky they didn't have to live through the endless sacrificing of Zords years, Victoria Justice makes a play to take over the show and comes so close, yet remains so far, Horny Boo Boo is forced into a hideous Earth heterosexual marriage and doesn't even get legal alien status or a real house out of it, the Japanese mecha designers finally let us down unforgivably, and the Rangers learn an important lesson about the consequences of abusing your magic trading card game for inane shit like flying kites, because one of the things you will *never* be after leaving PRWP is ignorant.

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I expected a revival of Victorious to be better. Damn you, New Saban Era! You ruin everything!Collapse )

Love Is In The Air
Heh
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In which Matt Bennett and Stalker Ball accidentally kill someone out of boredom and go to unusual, somewhat half-assed attempts to cover it up, Bioncé gets roofied by an evil cyborg demon clown out of love but winds up trying to abduct Stalker Ball and turn him into her sex slave instead of becoming rapeably easy because Bioncé is Bioncé and all that hair dye, gold lamé, and dysfunctional famewhore family prevents her brain from working as expected, yet another Victorious refugee appears to spread even more sociopathy than already exists in New Angel Grove, NinGia is very nearly forced to tell Stalker Ball what "lesbian" actually means, and we learn why even though she's the very nicest of the Three Gods Of Bad Power Rangers Storyelling, you still don't want to mess with Foreshadowing.

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I"ve been drinking, I"ve been drinking / I get nanners when them roofies get into me / I been thinking, I been thinking / Why you all up on that lesbian, baby? / I want you, na na / Why transsexual Harley Quinn tryin" to holler at me, baby? / Ooh, that teacher, he dead, na naCollapse )

The Perfect Storm
Heh
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In which the New Power Generation conspires to defeat the Assy Pirates by doing terrible remakes of three random movies from the '80s and '90s, there are three varieties of communications modules and people tried to sell them as pets in the '70s, The Sixth Beatle left a Plot Device on Earth that may or may not give people strokes and may or may not go up your ass, Stalker Ball can run, jump, climb, and flip anywhere in the city except into NinGia's lesbian pants, soft serve machine repairmen wear very different uniforms in New Angel Grove, and any object that looks like WALL-E-5 has an equal chance of carrying a nuclear WMD or underpants.

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You better live in fear; I"m not afraid to meh you until you die from it!Collapse )

Power Of Six
Heh
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In which El Oro De Pelicula liberally displays his Aztec gold cursing abilities, Horny Boo Boo shows everyone why he desperately needs his minimum-wage job, Stalker Ball lives in fear for the sanctity of his ass for several reasons, HBB decides that the only thing better than a large handful of Dungeon Dice Monster Keys is to melt them all down with a Creepy Crawlers oven and turn them into one giant boob plate with all faces of all the Sixth Rangers and Other Fuckers in history plastered on them like the world's most unattractive refrigerator magnets, and your anal virginity can apparently be taken and returned. I sense millions of people are simultaneously terrified and jealous.

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My booty is mine / It belongs to me / You cannot take my booty!Collapse )

Silver Lining, Part 2
Heh
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In which the Horny Tangarian Silvarr Rangarr gets a makeover that allows his homofying alien pheromones to wreak havoc with everyone who has genitals, the New Power Generation attempts to get shit done without the interference leadership of the Rubber Suit Currently Known As Prince, to mixed results, aliens speak in various Scandinavian dialects, the ass-raping scales up from plain old Ass-Raping Pitchforks to deep sky objects, and now we know what the Drunken Backstory Hat would be like if it was a giant fighting robot.

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Everybody Gay!Collapse )

Silver Lining
Heh
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In which the most (relatively) sober use of the Drunken Backstory Hat results in another blond alien refugee in silver coming to Earth to find a husband and ass-rape him with a pitchfork, the Rubber Suit Currently Known As Prince decides to start stealing out of the Trade Federation Droid Army's playbook until he's forced to stop going off-script, we learn why the Not Another Goddamned Abandoned Warehouse Districts should always remain Goddamned and Abandoned, and the Assy Pirates get most of the episode off for an impromptu vacation and attempt to spend it getting diarrhea, just like all white people do when they go abroad.

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What is it with this show and alien Bracelet Buddies who enjoy sodomizing people with objects that you should never, ever, ever use for sodomy?Collapse )

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